Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Happy (almost) New Year!

P.S. Also, you know what makes a great new year's gift? The Rich Morning Show! (now with 10% more funny) So, as you make your resolutions, consider buying my show as resolutions numbers 1, 2, and 3!

P.P.S: My agent says if you don't buy my show, I'm going to have to sell my private jet! Please, humans, you don't want me to walk around the streets of Los Angeles like some common zebra, do you?

Enjoy your new year and be safe while you party like an animal.




Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Machu Picchu All-Stars

Last winter, I visited Peru, with my girlfriend at the time, a sloth named Mindy.

Mindy in a box, in need of a manicure.

Mindy and I were having problems. She wanted a commitment, and the only thing I'm committed to is excellence, so things didn't quite work out. One evening I decided to go out and experience the famous Peruvian nightlife while Mindy decided to stay in her box and read comic books.

I was having an apple juice and some animal cookies and hanging out with some local cucarachas when a strange animal appeared in front of me and spit gracefully into the air. He had a very long neck, so I immediately liked him. He had a cool haircut, and he danced like Elvis. He introduced himself as Llama Bob, and told me he was a singer in a rock band called the Machu Picchu All Stars.

He wasn't lying! His name was in fact Llama Bob, and he was in fact a singer in a rock band. This band was so good that I invited Bob and his band to perform on my show. They had some problems with immigration, but eventually they arrived in good shape. Here is a clip of their performance. Enjoy it, animals:

The Rich Morning Show / SHOW 3 from GymGlish on Vimeo.

Tell me what you think in my comment box!


Monday, December 22, 2008

The Rich Morning Show is now 100% kid-friendly (and also safe for animals)

Hello animals, humans, parents, and animal parents of human children!

It's me, Rich Morning, with a very important message for everyone who reads this blog.

I had a long talk with my agent Ron "the camel" Goldstein, and he told me that it wasn't appropriate to talk about my crazy parties and my silly animal friends with serious drinking problems. He said that posts like that send the wrong messages to my young viewers and readers, and that he would call the police next time I put a picture of Bruce up on the web... So I would like to say that I'm very sorry to anyone who is offended by my rock star lifestyle and I encourage you to ignore the post that is located after the next entry.

From now on, Rich is on the righteous path to spiritual enlightenment, so have a glass of juice and a cookie, and enjoy my substance-free posts for the future! Hooray for everyone!

Rich Morning
(under the careful supervision of Ron "the Camel" Goldstein)


Friday, December 19, 2008

Who hasn't watched my show?!

Is it you?

You should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously, my show is available on like 4 websites, and I'll have you know that over 17 people have watched it...

So, what's stopping you?

Here, I'll get you started:

My first show, in which I found an assistant, and was generally fantastic.

My second show, in which an Octopus tried unsuccessfully to make a cake, and I, unsurprisingly, was fantastic.

My third show, in which, you guessed it, I was fantastic, is not yet available, but check back soon.

In the meantime, I prescribe the following regimen: watching my show, followed by buying my show, followed by a nice papaya smoothie, followed by watching my show. It's the cure for your winter blues.

Bye bye animals!