Thursday, January 8, 2009

Rich's Mailbag, part.3

Hello animals!

Since the debut of my show in November, I've received thousands of questions from curious humans and animals about me, my life, my show and my diet. It's time for me to answer some of those questions. Let's get started!

Q: Is Rich your real name, or is it a fake Hollywood name?

A: Good question! To be completely honest, my full name is Ricardo Longneck Rupert Morning IV. I come from a long line of Ricardos. The family legend is that one of my ancestors had an affair with a South American goose, and since then we have some fiery Latin American blood in our feathers.

My agent Ron Goldstein, formerly Ronald Hymen Lifshitz Goldstein, recommended that I choose a sexier American name for marketing purposes. Thus was born: Rich Morning!

Q: Rich, what did you do for the holidays? Did you have a merry Christmas and a happy new year? Did you play in the snow with Pavel?

A: Well, in Los Angeles, we don't get a lot of snow, but we do have a lot of smog. For Christmas, me and a couple of my animal friends (Tina the Turtle, Otto the Otter and Pavel the Seal) went to the tanning salon and soaked up some harmful UV rays. After, we went to a Chinese place for pizza. Then Tina broke out the TWISTER board and we played until the wee hours of the night. Best...Christmas...Ever.

By the way, Pavel cheats at TWISTER. It's not cool.

Q. Who is your favorite Star Wars character?

A: It's a tie between Admiral Akbar and the Wampa from the ice planet Hoth. Also enjoyed the sand people.

Q: If you could meet any person, living or dead, who would it be?

A: In order of importance: Vito Corleone, Buddha, Beyonce, the inventor of the marshmallow, and Marie Curie.

Another great set of questions, animals! Keep them coming! See you soonish.


Anonymous Ratcliff Ratfink said...

Hi Rich,

Where do you stand on interspecies relationships? Both morally and scientifically?

You see I've had my eye on this moggy for some time now, and I think she's giving me the signs, but I'm not sure how to proceed.

Perhaps you could take a look at this and tell me if I'm making the right moves:

Cheers dude!


January 9, 2009 at 10:52 AM  
Anonymous Ed Strong said...

Rich, you're ace!

I never forget to tune in to your show (I am an elephant after all!).

Do you like art? I hope so because I've drawn you a picture. Here is a link to it:

I know it's not very good, but all I have is a trunk. I am also terrified of mice (whether they have tails or wires coming out of them!). You cannot imagine how much I suffered just to write this short message!

Anyway, hope you like it!

Big love

Ed Strong

January 12, 2009 at 5:25 PM  

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