Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I think I'm a clone now

Q. What's better than Rich Morning?

A. Nothing 3 Rich Mornings!

My next door neighbor, amateur geneticist and leopard, Larry, has discovered a way to clone animals! Naturally, I requested 2 clones of myself: 1 to do my dirty work (cleaning, cooking, vacuuming, ironing and occasional assassinations) and the other date as many females as possible. I myself, the real Rich, will continue to host my show and try to make you laugh as usual.

Having clones of myself is the best thing that has happened in my life since the debut of the Rich Morning Show. Well, there was that time when Pavel sang Happy Birthday to me while juggling fish with his nose. It wasn't even my birthday.

I have named my new clone brothers Richard and Dick. I had a hard time choosing names, and I was just going to call them Rich 1 and Rich 2, but then I realized that names are important.

What would you do with a clone?

Let me us know!

Have a great day!

Rich, Richard and Dick Morning

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Heidi the Hyena

Sometimes I feel sad.

There are many reasons: Ron "The Camel" Goldstein has only bad scripts for me to read. My supermodel marmotte girlfriend dumped me for a bad-ass giraffe. Pavel doesn't want to hang out after the show because he is learning to spin a ball on his nose. These things make me feel blue. But whenever I feel bad, I know exactly who to go to. Her name is Heidi. She's a hyena, and she is 3 years old. She always has a smile on her face and for some reason, she never stops laughing. I think it's some sort of condition. Anyway, Heidi always knows just how to cheer me up. Would you like to meet her?

Here she is! Enjoy!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Hi Animals! I hope you're well. Just to let you know that it is the last week of my holiday, and I will be returning to my house in the Hollywood hills early next week. It will be strange to come back, I've had such a good time hanging out on the beach and tanning my fathers. I've made a lot of good friends here, including some very mischievous macaques (they are small monkeys with little beards who like to steal bananas from Japanese tourists) and some crazy birds who like to sing all night. On the other hand, I am looking forwards to getting back to my show, my agent, and my supermodel poodle girlfriend. How are you guys doing? Any funny stories? Any plans for Valentine's Day (February 14th, apparently)? Let me know, and see you soon!