tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56576243939537226202009-01-05T21:31:24.428+01:00Andrewnoreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-49989992089336355842009-01-05T18:19:00.005+01:002009-01-05T19:11:42.293+01:00

Happy New Year people! Rich is back and better than ever in 2009. As a special gift this year for all my beloved viewers and readers, I have decided to give you my top 5 new year's resolutions on my blog. Today, resolution #1: Make friends with as many whales as possible. As you know, whales, much like myself, are fantastic. They are big, eat plankton, and occasionally swallow people, all of

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-13715161546663656042008-12-30T18:47:00.005+01:002009-01-05T13:45:29.101+01:00

P.S. Also, you know what makes a great new year's gift? The Rich Morning Show! (now with 10% more funny) So, as you make your resolutions, consider buying my show as resolutions numbers 1, 2, and 3! P.P.S: My agent says if you don't buy my show, I'm going to have to sell my private jet! Please, humans, you don't want me to walk around the streets of Los Angeles like some common zebra, do you?

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-56012039010095721142008-12-23T14:38:00.005+01:002008-12-23T17:09:17.216+01:00

Last winter, I visited Peru, with my girlfriend at the time, a sloth named Mindy. Mindy in a box, in need of a manicure. Mindy and I were having problems. She wanted a commitment, and the only thing I'm committed to is excellence, so things didn't quite work out. One evening I decided to go out and experience the famous Peruvian nightlife while Mindy decided to stay in her box and read comic

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-68693270050662185322008-12-22T19:53:00.008+01:002008-12-22T20:19:57.913+01:00

Hello animals, humans, parents, and animal parents of human children! It's me, Rich Morning, with a very important message for everyone who reads this blog. I had a long talk with my agent Ron "the camel" Goldstein, and he told me that it wasn't appropriate to talk about my crazy parties and my silly animal friends with serious drinking problems. He said that posts like that send the wrong

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-36619521709189072552008-12-19T17:48:00.001+01:002008-12-19T17:49:11.998+01:00

Is it you? You should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously, my show is available on like 4 websites, and I'll have you know that over 17 people have watched it... So, what's stopping you? Here, I'll get you started: My first show, in which I found an assistant, and was generally fantastic. My second show, in which an Octopus tried unsuccessfully to make a cake, and I, unsurprisingly, was

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-59646713574621287482008-11-26T17:45:00.008+01:002008-12-22T20:14:56.197+01:00

Ohh man my head hurts, what time is it? What are you doing in my kitchen... and most of all, what happened last week? I think I had a huge party to celebrate the premiere of my show (The Rich Morning Show) and my website but I'm not quite sure... Luckily my agent Ron "the camel" Goldstein took a photo, which is good, because it's the only proof I have that the party ever took place! Here it

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-34843211013911611972008-11-17T18:49:00.005+01:002008-11-17T19:40:32.158+01:00

Have you ever wanted to have a teaser made about your television show? Me too. What's that? I have a teaser? Well in that case please watch it and enjoy me. Facebook

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-23714748395171213772008-11-13T13:34:00.003+01:002008-11-13T13:36:51.513+01:00

You have been warned. Facebook

Andrewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-41809552661415716132008-11-03T16:48:00.004+01:002008-11-03T17:37:08.602+01:00

Rich Morning isn't taking any sides in tomorrow's election... but if you know what is good for you, you'll vote for Obama. John McCain's anti-ostrich agenda has been clear for quite some time now. A vote for McCain is a vote against animals. So, watch my show and vote for the scary muslim socialist. Love, Rich Facebook

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-16612561784136492542008-10-27T18:41:00.004+01:002008-10-27T18:52:25.320+01:00

Hello fans, well-wishers and former lovers, Let me introduce a new segment to my already world-famous blog. It's called 'Fan Testimonials' and it's going to blow your mind. Here's is how it works. I show you a fan telling the world how great I am, then you appreciate it. If necessary, I will translate. Got it? Let's get started: Shamu says: Rich, for the love of god, please get me out of this

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-43380933954676684052008-10-27T13:35:00.004+01:002008-10-27T13:44:40.074+01:00

Now that the Rich Morning show (world premiere November 19th on televisions everywhere) is building some major buzz (check out the new site), everyone is trying to get in on the action. Just check out Marky Mark trying to get information from some of my key demographic: The joke's on you, Mark! Those animals are under strict instructions from my team of lawyers not to disclose any

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-46773761204000222612008-10-14T11:12:00.004+02:002008-10-14T11:17:57.854+02:00

Aunt Doris wishes everyone a safe fire prevention week Facebook

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-23100759371701217162008-10-13T16:34:00.007+02:002008-10-13T19:56:58.437+02:00

Only a little more than one month remaining before the debut of The Rich Morning Show! As you can see, my audience is mobilizing from far and wide to get to Los Angeles in time for the premiere! Click to see my migrating friends in action. Well-dressed fans from Brazil Confused Swans in Canada Impatient Weiner Dogs From Miami Look at them! They're all in a hurry. I would reserve my seat

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-19586250637269312032008-10-02T00:12:00.010+02:002008-10-02T13:03:49.549+02:00

Shana Tova Animals! In honor of my agent Ron 'the Camel' Goldstein, and as part of my plea bargain agreement with the State of California supreme court, I would like to wish all of my Jewish animal friends a Shana Tova... whatever that means. Wikipedia tells me that Rosh Hashana is the Jewish new year, though that doesn't make any sense because it's October! Every animal knows that the only

Andrewnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-55053645299672951602008-09-12T15:39:00.021+02:002008-09-12T16:57:58.178+02:00

Yo yo yo birds of a feather, Back at you after a very, very somber day. September 11th is, as you know, a very tragic day for all Americans. It is my birthday. That's right, 3 years old already. It's hard getting older, but I have to say that reaching sexual maturity is pretty fun. I can reproduce now, so ladies, don't be shy! Getting older is hard however, I'm no longer the carefree chick I

Andrewnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-28111916286836636642008-08-28T17:34:00.009+02:002008-09-04T12:04:46.222+02:00

Today I had another long and boring talk with my agent Ron "The Camel" Goldstein and the network execs. I keep trying to spice these meetings up with a bit of birdseed and some malt liquor, but Ron insists that I be sober for at least the first 5 minutes of each meeting. He gives me that long face as if to say "Can't you go three weeks without drinking?". Sorry Ron, we can't all be perfect camels

Andrewnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-42151862743549401242008-08-18T10:58:00.010+02:002008-08-27T17:23:26.133+02:00

I don't know if you noticed, but I haven't posted in a while. Apologies in advance for all those who threw themselves off of bridges and other monuments. Why haven't I blogged? Here are 4 excellent reasons: -Apathy! I really don't care about stuff. You know, Generation X and all that. I make no apologies for it. -Surgery! I've recently undergone major reconstructive surgery (beak enlargement)

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-41487569171780934432008-07-28T10:14:00.006+02:002008-07-28T12:19:25.906+02:00

Greetings loyal bird watchers! My first mailbag was such a success that I decided to do a second one. Not to mention that I receive thousands and thousands of questions and comments every single day related to the Rich Morning Show (debuting Nov. 17th, 2008) and Rich Morning himself. So, with no further ado... let's get to it. Q. Rich, do you ever get lonely? A. So, so lonely. Q. Rich, what's

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-9436513753292880932008-07-24T12:17:00.006+02:002008-07-24T12:54:38.439+02:00

I like ducks. What do you like? Facebook

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-71697731834088963332008-07-18T18:40:00.006+02:002008-07-18T20:26:20.115+02:00

Thank Godzilla it's Friday! Most of you know Friday as the day after Thursday, and the day before Saturday, but Friday is so much more than that. For example, these are just some of the things I do on Fridays. Here it is, a day in the life of Rich Morning. Morning: -Wake up, 10 AM -Take a birdbath, blow dry feathers. -Have personal assistant choose outfit for me. -Refuse to wear said outfit

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-70788922430455041922008-07-15T16:16:00.003+02:002008-07-15T23:47:40.865+02:00

By that I mean it's cool being Rich (Morning), but also that it's cool being wealthy, and you know having money to buy stuff. For example, just last week, I bought some awesome new artwork. The key addition to my collection is this portrait that I commissioned from a promising young artist named 'Sacha': What do you think? Personally, I think this kid is going places. He's got talent, drive,

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-28114072232093560692008-07-15T11:38:00.003+02:002008-07-15T23:43:47.867+02:00

Boo-yah party animals! What's happening? Rich Morning here, with another captivating blog post. Today there's one pressing matter on the agenda: The Rich Morning Show (World Premier November 17th, 2008) is looking for an assistant! That's right! Have you ever dreamed of following instructions? Humiliating yourself for the amusement of others? Dancing while someone fires a pistol at your feet

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-29631249485220863402008-07-11T14:05:00.002+02:002008-07-15T23:44:47.655+02:00

Hey hey people, In the past couple of days I've received tons and tons of questions about what it's like to be me. Here's just a sample of some of the questions I've been asked with answers underneath: Q. Rich, are you married? A. Married to my job, yes. Q. Rich, how do you keep your feathers so clean? A. Soap and champagne bubble baths. Q. Rich, who let the dogs out? A. Don't know. Who

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-73898805184945761432008-07-09T17:09:00.001+02:002008-07-11T13:53:40.194+02:00

What's up loyal Rich Morning fans? I'm back with another fantastic blog post to keep you motivated for the debut of my upcoming morning show (cough cough) November 17th, 2008 (cough cough). Great! Now that I'm done with the shameless self-promotion (for now), let me get straight to the big news! I have a brand new logo! Here it is: What do you think? You like it? Good, I was hoping you would.

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657624393953722620.post-69852302675860546242008-07-01T19:56:00.002+02:002008-07-01T20:21:30.732+02:00

That's a question I get asked a lot, and usually the answer is 'no', or sometimes 'get that camera out of my face, paparrazo!' if I'm feeling generous. But what can you do? This is the life I chose: the life a D-list Hollywood celebrity. Summers in Acapulco, winters in Aspen. Here, check out some my moves on the slopes! It's hard work being Rich Morning, what can I say? Toodles.

Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11960101980718071425noreply@blogger.com0